Questions and Answers from the Wonder of Wisdom!
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Dear Whouda,
How much is a 90 cent Coke?
-- Confused Consumer
Dear Confused Consumer,
After taxes, title, insurance, and delivery charges, the 90 cent Coke will cost you two dollars and thirty seven cents.
-- Whouda Thunkit
Dear Whouda,
Where is the restaurant Chez Menu?
-- Food for Thought
Dear Food,
Chez Menu is located next to the Watchowee Falls, in beautiful Frostbite Falls, Minnesota.
-- Whouda Thunkit
Dear Whouda,
Who said, "Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it"?
-- Inquisitive Quoter
Dear Quoter,
You may want to consider taking a memory enhancement course, for it seems to me that you are the one who just said it.
-- Whouda Thunkit
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin, and how do I get them onto my pin?
-- jamnor
Dear jamnor,
Actually, the Angels specialize in playing baseball, not dancing. As a result, I suggest you keep the Angels in the outfield. If you insist on having them dance on a pin head, you will need to convince that politician to allow an Angel to dance on his head, which may be difficult if either the Secret Service or Hillary are around.
-- Whouda Thunkit
How do I keep the mailperson from delivering "junkmail"?
-- snail-mailed to death
Dear Snail-Mailed,
Well, a time-honored method is to shoot up your local post office, but I wouldn't recommend it, as it tends to be messy. You know, powder burns all over the clothing, blood on the shoes, it just isn't particularly attractive. A more subtle yet equally effective method is to fill out a change of address card. You will be free of junk mail for a couple of months! Of course, you won't get any other mail, either, but I think it's worth it! Just note, it doesn't matter what address you put on the card -- the mail just won't get there!
-- Whouda Thunkit
If I had to move some styrofoam across the country what would I pack it in?
-- Puzzled Packer
Dear PP,
This question is undoubtedly one of the most intelligent questions I have received. It shows you are really thinking about the important issues! The most effective packaging for styrofoam is styrofelt. Some people will try to tell you that it is plastic, but don't believe them. Styrofelt, while having many similarities to plastic, is actually far superior due to its ability to transfer static electricity directly to the styrofoam. Yessir, by the time your styrofoam reaches its destination, it'll be ready to stick to anything!
-- Whouda Thunkit