Enigma #1
Women in the USA have complained, rightly, about the predatory nature of the male of the species. I have known personally men who live by the "four Fs", Find them, Feel them, F**k them, and Forget them.
My experiance with females indicates that they have learned the lesson and
now practice their own brand of exploitation. I have been dumped by a wife
whose reproductive urge I did not fulfill(opps, I was wrong! Another woman
didn't believe that, so I asked my ex; it turned out she dumped me because I
had agoraphobia...... "in sickness and in health" the legend
goes.)("Another woman" didn't believe that, either: her exact
response was "You don't divorce someone because they get sick!", so
in 2007 I asked my ex again, and was told it was both me not wanting kids AND
me having agoraphobia.)(Lesson learned too late: Don't make lifetime, life
altering promises when you are a 19 year old male!!Try to remember this
basic fact of life: almost all women want to have kids.....I have no idea why,
but as teenagers they already do: see below.) *(3/05: my ex writes to me that I
only tell half the story and tell it cruelly, so let me be clear: I do stand by
the facts as stated.), a fiancee whose financial needs were taken care of in
other ways (she wanted me to pay for her son's college education, until said
son turned out to be a genius, winning a full ride scholarship that covered
both undergraduate and graduate (PhD) studies!), and twice by women with kids
who wanted someone who actually liked kids to be a stepfather. They profess to
love you until you no longer get them what they want, then you become
superfluous, and they look elsewhere to get what they want.
(My hypothesis about why women want kids: There may be a
few woman who like the pain and the restriction of freedom that go
along with motherhood, but that is not typical. Women are herd(see truth #1 here)
creatures, they want what other women want. A woman's first role model is her
mother, who either had children or adopted. As a woman's friends, sisters,
sisters-in-law, etc have children and tell her what a wonderful experiance it is, leaving out the details
about the baby's constant crying
and whining, she wants one, too! When she actually HAS the baby, and it's
not quite what she expected, she will bitch to her fellow child burdened, but
continue to preach to the childfree:
bitch
and backpeddle)(Of course, there are another few women who
have figured out that sitting at home while some man works to support them is a
good reason to become a mother.)(Plus, there are accidental mothers who never
quite figured out how birth control works, and some whose religion forbids
birth control other than abstinence.)
Love? I agree with Ayn Rand, who said that to love is to value. We are reaching a point where women do not value men per se, but value what men can provide them with, mainly in a materialistic sense.
Esther Vilar, in her 1972 book The Manipulated Man, discusses the second paragraph at length.
Enigma #2
As women get older, they are more and more likely to have repeatedly
encountered the predatory males mentioned above, with the resulting attitudes,
"all men are alike" and/or "men only care about one thing".
One consequence of this is that older single males find it increasingly
difficult to find women their age who still like men, or who still like sex(see
#3 below): thus the occurrence of "older man, young woman"
relationships.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: It is quite true that many "men only care about one
thing". However, most women also care only about one thing, too: BAYBEES!
It is amusing to note that men and women, in general, want the same thing
(sex), but for very different reasons.
"If the girl you want to commit your life to is the first girl you've ever dated and/or slept with, do NOT fucking marry her. You're a brainless idiot for even considering it."(I did this. A guy needs more experiance with women, not just sexually; he needs to date enough to realize that women vary extensively, not just sexually, but in honesty. A guy really needs to be lied to a few times and dumped, so he knows what he is getting into. Knowing in advance that "for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part" is nice in a movie but is frequently total bullshit in real life will help a guy get over the trauma of his first really big dumping.) Remember this, guys! She wants to have baybees!. Don't believe she doesn't unless she has been surgically permanently sterilized, is OK with you getting surgically permanently sterilized, and has a career she loves. (If she says she is on the "pill" or any non permanent birth control, she can oops you when she gets baybee rabies, if you haven't gotten a vasectomy.)(Worse yet, she can get pregnant by some other guy, and you can get stuck paying child support for 18 years, unless you demand a paternity test as soon as she becomes pregnant.)
Enigma #3
When women pass through menopause, the changes in their reproductive system cause a great many of them to give up sex entirely. Taking estrogen can restore their sex drive, but doctors will not prescribe it to women with cancer risks. This is a disaster for men who still like sex and prefer the company of women their own age, myself for example!
Men eventually find out to their dismay that they like sex a whole lot more than the average female does. Women tend to view sex as a means toward procreation; when menopause ends procreation, they do not see the end of their sex life as particularly disappointing, although the man or men in their life will have a very different reaction.
Disclaimer: Yes, this is overly generalized. Of course there are exceptions: women who like sex for its own sake (even after menopause), men who don't like sex, people of both sexes whose religion has led them to take a vow of celibacy; I will add other exceptions as they come to my attention.
A Critic writes to me: "regarding your "enigma" page. although you do acknowledge at the end that you overly generalize, I can't help but wonder what you hope to accomplish by doing so? could not we say that you fall victim to the male version of enigma #2: "...resulting attitudes that 'all (wo)men are alike'"?"
Probably! I promise to rewrite this and eliminate generalizations.
OK, here is an explicit statement:
ANY statement that: Because two people share an attribute X, therefore they
must also share an attribute Y, is a fallacy. Every individual must be
evaluated independently in all areas that have no direct relation to X
*NOTE: I fell for that "in sickness and in health.....until death do us part" line because I thought people really meant it when they said wedding vows. It's not always BS, I know of three marriages that survived even though one of the partners had Alzheimer's Disease , which has got to be a lot worse than a partner with agoraphobia. (Speculation: the spouse-with-Alzheimer's marriages probably last because the healthy spouse knows that death is going to part them.)
Postscript: here is a page about women by a guy even more cynical than me:
Myths and
Truths, and
Understanding
Women, plus here is a more cynical site:
RelationShit.
The best pages on RelationShit:
Marrying
a chick.
A Furthur Enigma
In 2009 I corresponded briefly with a woman in Ukraine, and was extremely surprised to find out that the equality of the sexes idea has not yet reached that former part of the former USSR. This Ukrainian woman seriously thought along the lines of 1950s USA: Men should support women financially, and women's silly whims should be catered to, because "that is the way it is done in my country"! Will someone please tell Ukrainian women that it isn't the Victorian Age anymore?
Lest anyone get the wrong impression, I really do prefer the company of women (in general) to men, but I do prefer women who are intelligent, rational, and independent(that's independent both psychologically and financially).
Orig pub. 6-25-98, revised 1-8-05 version here(the version my ex disliked), rev 11-11-09