Updated March 20, 2004. Fixed some spelling errors and Quark's Bio link.

About the Ferengi

The Ferengi home world is the planet Ferenginar, where it rains every day. The Ferengi currency is gold-press latinum. Latinum comes in three denominations: slips, strips, and bars. The leader of the Ferengi is the Grand Negus who can be seen carrying a cane with a little golden Ferengi head on the top. In the Ferengi afterlife, if you make enough profit, you can go to the Divine Treasury. Bad Ferengi can get in trouble with the Ferengi Commerce Authority (FCA). The FCA can liquidate and seize all your possesions and even imprison offenders. The Ferengi are a male-dominated society. The most sacred and important writtings of the Ferengi are the Rules of Aquisition. There are 285 rules and all Ferengi are expected to memorize them. The rules serve as a guide to how the Ferengi do business and live every aspect of thier lives.

The Ferengi are proud of their large ears and see anyone with small ears as inferior (this includes humans). A favorite substance of the Ferengi is Huyperian beetle snuff, a kind of drug made from ground-up beetles. Another Ferengi form of pleasure is oo-mox, a kind of ear massage.

One of the most noteworthy Ferengi is Quark. He owns a bar/casino on the space staion Deep Space Nine in the Bajor sector. If you plan to visit Quark's, he requests you fill out this form.

Now that you have a little background information on the Ferengi, you're almost ready to view the Rules of Aqusition.

Disclaimer

Yes, I know not all 285 rules are listed. Not all the rules were listed in the books or reveled in the Star Trek series. These are the ones I have. I will continue to update with new rules when I find them. Now that that's out of the way, here they are...

And now without further ado, the Rules of Aquisition

1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
2. The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
3. Never pay more for an Aqusition than you have to.
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7. Keep your ears open.
8. Small print leads to large risk.
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10. Greed is eternal.
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
16. A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along.
17. A contract is a contract is a contract ... but only between Ferengi.
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21. Never place friendship above profit.
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23. Nothing is more important than your health ... except for your money.
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother ... insult something he cares about instead.
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34. Peace is good for business.
35. War is good for business.
40. She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
41. Profit is its own reward.
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
47. Never trust a person wearing a better suit than your own.
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52. Never ask when you can take.
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum--treasure them.
58. There is no substitute for success.
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
60. Keep your lies consistent.
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
74. Knowledge equals profit.
75. Home is where the heart is ... but the stars are made of latinum.
76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
94. Females and finances don't mix.
95. Expand ... or die.
97. Enough ... is never enough.
98. Every man has his price.
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
104. Faith moves mountains ... of inventory.
106. There is no honor in poverty.
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
111. Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.
112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.
113. Always have sex with the boss.
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
125. You can't make a deal when you're dead.
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141. Only fools pay retail.
144. There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162. Even in the worst of times someone makes a profit.
168. Whisper your way to success.
177. Know your enemies ... but do business with them always.
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
190. Hear all, trust nothing.
192. Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
202. The justification for profit is profit.
203. New customers are like razor-toothed greeworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is the answer.
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
214. Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
217. You can't free a fish from water.
218. Always know what you're buying.
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236. You can't buy fate.
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
242. More is good ... all is better.
255. A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant a necessity.
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
266. When it doubt, lie.
284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

• A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.₁

	NAME:________________________________
	SPECIES:_____________________________
	OCCUPATION:__________________________
	EXPECTED DATES OF VISIT:_____________
	FAVORITE FOOD:_______________________
	FAVORITE DRINK:______________________

ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10 (10 BEING HIGHEST) HOW MUCH DO YOU LIKE:
	GAMBLING:___________________________
	DABO GIRLS:_________________________
	FAMILY-STYLE HOLOSUITE PROGRAMS:____
	ADULT-STYLE HOLOSUITE PROGRAMS:_____

WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING GUIDED TOURS? (mark Y/N)
	A PROMENADE SHOPPING EXCURSION:				Y	N
	A ROMANTIC DINNER IN AN UPPER DOCKING PYLON:		Y	N
	ADVENTURE TOUR OF THE OLD CARDASSIAN ORE
	PROCESSORS:						Y	N
	SPELUNKER'S PARADISE:					Y	N
	(crawlways, conduits, Jefferies tubes)
	WEEKEND GETAWAY TO BAJOR:				Y 	N
	SKI TRIP TO BREEN:					Y	N
	A TRIP THROUGH THE BAJORAN WORMHOLE*:			Y	N
	(*please complete accompanying liability waivers)

	PREFERRED FORM OF MONETARY EXCHANGE:_________________
	GROSS ANNUAL SALARY:_________________________________

Thank you in advance for your help. We can't wait to see you at Quark's ... the friendliest place in the galaxy. And remember, order a Black Hole and get a free commemorative mug for only five slips of latinum.

Sources

The Ferengi Rules of Aquisition	Legends of the Ferengi

Check out Quark's bio at StarTrek.com

¹From Enterprise episode: "Aquisition"