An up-to-date manual rooted in time honoured techniques contained in ten quick, easy to remember points. 1. The foremost thought in a parent's mind should be that their child belongs to them and no other. The child should be well aware of the fact that the parent made him and therefore render grateful obedience. 2. Control is all. 3. Children often prefer living in a fantasy world. It is your duty to point out their own shortcomings and those of their environment. Brutal honesty in these cases is imperative. (You must also make it very clear to them that you have no shortcomings of your own.) 4. A look is worth a thousand words. I recommend practicing a quelling glare in front of a mirror. In no way should this look be overtly angry. The sense of threat should be subtle, yet palpable. Expressions of rage should be reserved for the times when you really do mean to take your child's life. I repeat, control is all. 5. Punishment should be swift and to the point. Too subtle a torment will be lost on the immature mind. 6. Your child will be sure to disappoint you. It is your duty to inform him how he has done so down to the slightest detail. Developing a cold, slicing delivery of said lectures is imperative. Sarcastic humour at your child's expense is also a viable option in these cases. 7. When your children please you, by all means, indulge them. Nothing can be more satisfying to the parent than a grateful child. 8. Remember that your child belongs to you. Any attempt to remove the child from your control by anyone justifies deadly force. I recommend going instantly for the throat in these cases. 9. Carefully inventory the possessions of your home. In every room there should be at least one article of furnishing that could be quickly rendered into a suitable stake. (Be aware, that when your children reach puberty, they also will be making a similar inventory.) 10. Children are meant to be cherished, protected, and guided along their path in life. Remember, they will never outgrow their need for your support and advice. Enjoy!
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This page was created by WebEdit, Friday, June 21, 1996
Most recent revision Friday, June 21, 1996