Rob E.'s Letter 9 September 1996

"Off the road again. I just can't wait to get off the road again."

I don't remember who it was that didn't sing that, but I know someone didn't. Anyhow, I think it sums up my feelings well enough. I left Put-In-Bay on August 18th, and returned to Columbus. I stayed there for a week and then left for Euclid. I spent two days in Euclid during which time I went to Cleveland and got a job, then I moved into my cousin, Vicki's, house in Mentor-on-the-Lake. By moving in, I simply mean that I dropped off about half of the stuff I've been carrying, redistributed items to prepare two bags of clothes, and left the next day for Dad's house in Windsor. I spent one night at Dad's, then left with Lee & Shawna Gambol and Cheryl Fain for Minneapolis. Slept in a hotel in Indiana, broke down and spent a night in Wisconsin, rented a car on which a little red light came on almost immediately after we left the rental place, returned that car, got another, finally made it to Minnesota and spent two consecutive nights in Minnesota , and now we're on the road back, although we've already hit two traffic jams in Wisconsin since we picked up our car a couple of hours ago, and Chicago still lies within our path like some murky, nigh impassable bog to slow us down even further. I just keep thinking how I long to be home, and then I remember...

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

I'm not exactly homeless, but I still feel that way. I'm living with Vicki and Ken, my two cousins in Mentor-on-the-Lake. This might disturb me more than it does if I hadn't had three months in Put-In-Bay to become acclimated to living in a hyphenated city. Never-the-less, this is just a temporary home, and I'm not even remotely settled in yet. No bed, no desk, even the clutter on the floor is still in boxes or duffel bags. I suspect that once that clutter is out and spread evenly over the entire floor, it will start to feel more like home.

Where have they gone?

So, how is everyone? How's life? work? school? How was your summer? Fill me in. Inquiring minds like mine want to know. Some of you have moved on, and I've lost you, so let me know what's up.

What's up with me? So glad you asked.

As for me, I've done quite a bit in the last two weeks. With the onset of my homelessness, I decided it was time to find a job, a house, etc. Numerous agencies, Mom being the most persistent, tried to convince me to look for work prior to the end of the summer, but I held out until the very end. Then, at the encouragement Lee Gambol, I applied for work at the Great Lakes Science Center in Cleveland. Starting tomorrow, I'm a demonstrator for the Science Center. I get to amuse the patrons by putting on little shows to demonstrate how fun it is to play with electricity, chemicals, and liquid nitrogen. No doubt many young children will benefit from my teaching them to think of these materials as playthings rather than potentially dangerous substances. Seriously though, it should be a lot of fun as well as being productive and even using my degree to some extent.

Mary Poppins, move on over!

Also, I've got another job that doesn't start until late January. My cousin, Carleen, is getting a little heavier. The trend towards heaviness is supposed to continue until January 20th or so at which point she is supposed to shed the excess weight in a drastic and often painful procedure known as birth. This is where I come in. I'm moving in to help out with young Devyn when she is born and when Rich and Carleen both have to work. I'll be the nanny on those days, and I'll get to do all of the fun feedings and diaper changes and calling out frantically for Calgon to come and take me away. I can hardly wait.

Movie Sign!!!!

In the mean time I've been on vacation, sort of. I've been running around, moving my stuff from one place to another, bumming rides, and looking for work. It's only the past three days that I've really been on vacation, and even that has had it's share of stress. I went to the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Conventio-Con Expo Fest-A-Rama 2: Electric Bugaloo in Minneapolis. The car broke down in Wisconsin, and we spent the night there waiting for it to be fixed. In the morning, it still wasn't fixed, so we rented a car and got to the convention a day late. Still, it was very exciting. Misties are a little peculiar, but very friendly and fun. It was probably kind of like an Addams family reunion. We got to see the studio where they film the show, and we got a video taped tour of the set by the actors. I think the actors were too afraid of all of us weirdoes to give the tour of the studio in person. Actually I don't think it's all of us that are scary, but we're an odd bunch, and there's a few that are odder than the rest. At the beginning of the tour the actors say hello and wave to the camera. Two or three people, eyes glued to the screen, waved back. At that point I thought that I, too, might prefer to communicate with these folks from afar. We got to listen to a celebrity panel of people who had been in bad movies featured on MST3K, among them were the professor from Gilligan's Island and Kim Cattrall. We also had a big ol' costume ball where giant leeches and oversized space turtles coexisted in harmony for a short time on the dance floor . We left this morning and we're in Indiana now. By tomorrow afternoon, I should be back in Mentor.

That's the news, and I am out of here.

Right now my life is really topsy turvey, and I'd really appreciate hearing from y'all. My new e-mail address is in the letterhead. Hopefully things'll settle down very soon. Until they do, I'll cope with the help of They Might Be Giants, who sang, "I ain't feelin' happy about the state of things in my life, but I'm workin' to make it better with a six of Miller High Life." Right now I'm only on High Life number three, but it seems to be doing the trick, so I'll finish that off and go to bed. Take care, everyone, and write to me. "Man cannot live on credit card bills alone." I need some real mail at my new house to make it more homey. Now we're in Indiana at a hotel, and I'm headin' bedwards. Luv y'all.
Yours Till the Red King Wakes Up,
Rob E.

P.S. 9/10/96 Okay, one week on the job as of tommorrow. It's going okay so far. Today I ran one demonstration on my own, and did the electric show under Lee's supervision. Oh, and we did make it back from MN okay, in case you didn't know.

Footnotes

two consecutive nights in Minnesota: Same bed, same room, and everything. Wow!
temporary home: As opposed to what? The longest I've ever lived in one house is three or four years, and that's nowhere near the norm. I ought to be used to temporary homes by now. Death and Taxes, those may actually be the only two constants, and I could always get religion, then only taxes would be left. As a comforting, always-present consistency, taxes leave a lot to be desired.
mean time: Will someone explain this one to me? What's "Mean time"? Is it the opposite of "Nice time"? How can you tell which kind you have? What if your time only has a mild disposition, and then only occasionally? Is there a word for that? Gosh language is weird.
coexisted ... on the dance floor: Then the slam dancing started. For an endurance test put a turtle and a leach in the mosh pit and see who lasts longer. The turtle will win every time. Must be the shell.

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