Just wanted to get a letter out to our local news agents because something that may be newsworthy crossed my path. It involves the Mentor judicial system, an obnoxious beagle named Willie, and an enormous lack of good sense.
My cousin, Vicki, stopped by the Mentor police department on her day off because her new job required her to get finger printed. The officials there not only fingerprinted her, but then proceeded to arrest her. It seems she had an unpaid traffic violation in Pepper Pike, and unless someone could run $250 over to the station, Vick was going to be held until Pepper Pike could pick her up. It sounds serious, but it wasn't really a problem. She just called her family. In these days when family values are supposedly on the decline, my family is a happy exception in that we're always ready to post bail for a relative in distress. Okay, maybe the frequency with which my family willingly posts bail for one another is a bad example of family values, but the point is that Vick's brother, Rich, headed off to pay the Pepper Pike Police. Problem solved? Not quite.
With the Pepper Pike Police placated Vick only had one other problem. Her dog, Willie, had escaped about a month before and been picked up by the pound. When she went to pick him up, they not only gave her the pup, but also a ticket for having an unlicensed dog. Well, she got a license for the dog(so now does she need proof of dog insurance?), but she forgot to pay the $20 ticket. That's what they kept her on. Unlike most crimes, there's apparently no bond for not paying your dog ticket. She had the money right there, but they wouldn't take it. She had to meet with a judge, and that couldn't be done until the next day, so they sent her off to the county jail in Painesville where they relieved her of all of her clothes and possessions including the money she might have used to pay the ticket. She got some standard issue prison clothes(I like to think it was the black and white striped outfits you always see in the movies, but probably not) and she was put in a cell for the night. The next day she was taken back to Mentor. They wouldn't return any of her belongings as she left the Painesville prison because they said they couldn't be sure she would be released after her day in court. I guess they were concerned that the sentence for an unpaid dog ticket would exceed one night in jail, and in retrospect, they were almost right.
In handcuffs and shackles(who knows other atrocities this unlicensed dog owner might be capable of?), she was escorted off to the Mentor courts. The judge did not throw the book at her. "Simply pay your $20 ticket," the judge said, "and you will be released from prison."
Having been relieved of all of her money the day before, Vicki asked how she was meant to do that, although after being in custody for twenty four hours, perhaps she did not ask all that nicely. "Can't you have someone bring you the money?" the Judge suggests. Well, Vicki thinks that's a little strange to have someone bring her $20 when they've already taken more than that from her in the cash she was carrying, but her mother foots the bill. Like I said, we're a family that bails each other out. Vicki goes back to the Lake County Jail, collects her belongings, and heads to work. She did not, however, get the cash she was carrying. They'll mail her a check for that.
So Vicki spent a night in jail at the taxpayers expense(and was never read her rights, by the way, owing to the fact that she went to the police station of her own accord), missed one shift at her night job and half a day at her day job, was chauffeured between Painesville and Mentor by Mentor Police, again at the taxpayers expense, got bruises from the shackles, was tried by a judge(and who footed the bill for that? you bet you did), and for what? Twenty dollars. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the county came out a little behind on that one, but that's okay. There's plenty of crimes you can get bailed out for: traffic violations, drug related crimes, and the like. It's just makes me feel safe to know that out in Mentor, Ohio, drug addicts, drunk drivers, and other minor criminals are safe from the more base members of society, those menacing, lawless, morality-deprived individuals, the unlicensed dog owners. I applaud you, men in blue. Your tireless efforts to keep these scum off the streets does not go unappreciated.
Or,
if you're curious, you can always see what was on my mind the last
time I updated this page.