Dear Mr. Wolff:

          As attorney for the rock band Rush, I must insist that you cease and
          desist from any further slanderous behavior as that exhibited by your
          "Rush Eats Balls" webpage.

          I have been instructed by the band to file a lawsuit against you on
          their behalf should you not take down this inflammatory page. Mr's.
          Lee, Lifeson, and Peart are in agreement on this matter. Should you
          refuse to comply with their request, I will be forced to use the
          judicial system to gain remuneration for your actions.

          It is a known fact that Mr. Peart doesn't like ANYTHING, much less
          balls. Similarly, Mr. Lee is upset that you did not mention anything
          about his humongous nose. He would much prefer you to talk about his
          prowess at eating multi-layered boogers than his propensity toward
          ingesting testicular matter. Although Mr. Lifeson admits to the
          pleasure of a gourmet ball every now and then, he in no way resorts
          to mowing over people to satisfy his cravings.

          Sincerely,

          Ruas O'Nid, Esq.
          Attorney at Balls